millions of people hear mindfulness is âgood for themâ, but put it in the same category as running on a treadmill or eating cauliflower.
in other words, mindfulness or meditation is something most people feel they should do, instead of something they want to do.
i remember what it was like to think âi have work, chores, more work, groceries, family stuff AND study to do today⊠where the hell am i gonna fit in a meditation?â
if only iâd known back then mindfulness was the cheat code that would transform all that other stuff into a joyful celebration of life!
when mindfulness feels like a chore it never gets you anywhere.
what you need then is proper motivation to practice. and nothing is better motivation than a good success story.
so how about 10?
(look out for videos from the students themselves with stories 5-10.)
mindfulness success story #1: from suicide to strength
if youâve known me a while youâll know that in 2017 my mother attempted suicide.
nothing so tragic had happened in my life, but when i took the call i was super glad iâd already been practising mindfulness.
my brother-in-law told me heâd kicked mumâs door down and found her unconscious with a note in her hand.
i managed to stay calm as a cocktail of emotions exploded from my gut to my chest.
i told my brother iâd be at the hospital ASAP.
but i didnât have a clue what i was going to do once i got there.
in the end i did the only thing i could.
i stayed with Mum for 3 nights after she was released and told her everything iâd been learning about mindfulness.
i knew had turned my life around but i had no idea if itâd work for her too.
we spoke every day for 6 months afterward.
mum rediscovered the joy in life.
she got back to babysitting my 2 nephews.
and she never considered harming herself again.
mindfulness success story #2: antidepressants cold turkey
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/65d0b585712bfd1039a305c6/6673bb003bc3b8daa965f1b9_xth6pCr2rJqBB8xGkpNXAV.jpeg)
this student was also close to home.
one of my cousins posted in group chat that sheâd been on antidepressants for 14 years.
the rest of us were stunnedâpeople learn how to hide their shit really well.
i casually told Vikki she could join the mindfulness gang.
sheâd heard what it had done for mum so she called me.
we spoke for 45 minutes.
Vikki told me sheâd tried all kinds of counselling and therapy but it had all been prescriptive, soulless and ineffective.
one of my favourite things about mindfulness is that the teaching is given in friendship.
iâm not a doctor; iâm a teacher.
and actually all teachings are best given in friendship.
so i listened to Vikkiâs problems and then asked if there was any time she ever felt free from them.
she told me she loved taking her camera to the forest and shooting photos there. she said this was her âhappy placeâ where nothing could bother her⊠but her problems quickly came back when she left to go home.
i knew weâd struck gold.
i told Vikki all she had to do was first bring her âhappy placeâ with her from the forest back to her car.
once she could do that, the next step was to take it on the road.
then sheâd take it all the way homeâŠ
then into the houseâŠ
then, finally, to work (where a lot of her problems were).
Vikki didnât think it was possible but she was willing to try.
i told her it was okay if it didnât go smoothlyâthat sheâd likely experience some âback and forthâ between the steps iâd laid out.
but i wanted to give Vikki the best chance i could, so i asked her to be open-minded as i gave her some simple mindfulness instructions based on using the breath as an anchor.
i told her she could use a deep breath at home or at work as a reminder to think of her happy place, then bring happy feelings to wherever she was.
see, if Vikki could be without her problems in the forest she could be without them anywhere. after all, unless those problems were playing out right in front of her then they only existed in the mind.
(and even if they were playing out in front of her, the best way to navigate them would be mindfully and calmly anyway!)
i called back 3 weeks later and expected to hear that Vikki had been experimenting, that sheâd had some success and some failure.
but what she said blew me awayâŠ
she told me sheâd flushed all her antidepressants down the toilet, restarted her gym membership and never felt better. her problems at work were as if theyâd never existed and the others weâd spoken about were on their way out too.
i couldnât give her enough praise.
but as much of a breakthrough as this was, i was aware there was some risk.
i knew from my own journey and from speaking with lots of other practitioners that sometimes great results are followed by a crash.
but for Vikki there was no crash.
sheâs still happy and carefree to this day.
sheâs an example of someone who just needed to hear the right thing one time and had enough emotional leverage (14 years!) to just run with it.
she was ready for a real solution to her misery.
one call was enough.
mindfulness success story #3: overcoming social anxiety
my beloved wife is a neuropsychologist.
she and i hit it off on our first date comparing notes from our studies.
it was always fun to us that sheâd been in india studying the academic theories of mind from the west while iâd been in the uk studying the wisdom traditions of the east.
on our second date Debbie told me she suffered with social anxiety.
but this was surprising to me! sheâd seemed perfectly comfortable talking to me. (of course, our off-the-charts compatibility was the difference here.)
over the 4 years weâve known each other iâve guided Debbie through hundreds of flavours of uncertainty regarding how to interact with others.
she already knew the theory around all of it but she needed the practical steps to overcoming anxiety in her direct experience.
i deeply enjoyed every long conversation we had as i guided my wife to freedom.
these days she receives glowing feedback regarding her interactions with others on her professional team.
but thatâs not all: her time spent with family and friends is transformed too.
if youâve suffered with social anxiety youâll know what a heavy burden was lifted.
if youâre still carrying it, know that this is possible for you too.
mindfulness success story #4: ending co-dependency
i once coached a couple who were struggling to hold their relationship together.
i spoke with them separately and did something with both of them that i almost never do with students: i gave them explicit advice.
what advice?
end it.
i could see from the outside that they were doing the toxic tango; the destructive dance of co-dependency.
but the two of them desperately wanted to keep the âgood bitsâ of each other and put aside the bad.
problem is, when people are in co-dependent relationships they donât just add their âbad bitsâ together. they multiply them.
because if one person has 10 issues (nice round number) and the other has 10 issues then oneâs issues inflame the other'sâand vice versa...
which leaves them with precisely 100 issues. ouch!
these two students in particular were dealing with:
đčjealousy
đčlack of trust
đčincompatibility
đčcommunication breakdowns
they couldnât even talk about the fact they struggled to talk.
so after exploring the problem gently for a few weeks i felt comfortable giving that explicit advice. i told them the whole thing was broken. and thatâeven though on some level they loved one anotherâthey were definitely doing each other more harm than good.
i had to tell them many, many, many times.
they tried to bargain with themselves.
they tried to change.
but they always ended up in the same emotional wreckage.
as is always the case in these situations, once they made the break they felt much better.
they were able to get back to a beneficial mindfulness practice as opposed to just using it to put out fires every day.
a common question i get from people in these situations is âdoesnât acceptance mean i should let my difficult relationship be as it is?â
firstly, acceptance isnât about âshouldsâ.
secondly, no. acceptance doesnât mean playing in traffic.
it was difficult to see with the turbulent emotions involved but acceptanceâin the case of these two studentsâwas to accept that their relationship wasnât working.
once they got out of the danger zone they were glad they did.
mindfulness success story #5: detachment from outcome
this is Ricky, a high-ticket salesman.
heâd already been meditating a lot when he came to me. he was finding his practice useful for his craft. but he was still struggling with the salesmanâs kryptonite: attachment to outcome.
Ricky found that no matter how carefree and easy he felt in his meditations, he still clung to the sale when he was on the phone.
see, Ricky was in perhaps the most common trap youâll find meditators in.
to him, at that time, meditation was separate to the rest of his life.
he was seeing some benefits trickle over between practice sessions.
the experience of deep practice will always have some benefitâŠ
but never as much as doing away with the idea of âsessionsâ altogether and making your entire life your practice.
after i helped Ricky adjust his perspective he saw immediate improvements in his game.
they didnât come quickly enough for him to survive the role he was in at the timeâŠ
but he went on to generate $112,000 in a month for his next client.
pretty good, hey?
mindfulness success story #6: service = sales
Henry is another high-ticket salesman who works for commission only. so if his performance is down, his ability to provide for his baby son is down. high stakes!
Henry came to me in a bit of a slump and we immediately got to work on two of my favourite subjects: stress reduction and mutual benefit.
see, no stranger wants to hear from you unless youâre all about them.
Henry understood this intellectually but he just needed some help to embody the principle.
and here comes that great paradox; that often-confusing universal lawâŠ
serving others is the best way to serve yourself.
now, Henry had previous experience with meditation like most of my students. but heâd never considered that he could be practising on a live sales call.
so we strengthened his understanding and he jotted down a dozen or so reminders. he stuck these up where heâd be unable to ignore them whilst on a sales call.
they said things like:
đčâserve firstâ
đčâseek to understandâ
đčâbreatheâ
đčârelax, let go, shut the fuck upâ
after 2 sessions with me Henry was back at the top of his teamâs leaderboard.
heâs just taken his little boy on holiday and i expect his âsecret weaponâ of mindfulness will keep him at the top of the pack.
mindfulness success story #7: letting go of âshouldsâ
Adam is Henryâs team leader and heâs working toward a goal of 1 million dollars in revenue per month.
Adam knew heâd have to go deep to get this result and so we wasted no time.
he knew the next level for him wasnât about what he was doing but, rather, where he was doing it from.
Adam had suffered on & off with depression for 3 years before we met and his symptoms had, of course, interfered with his professional results.
so we investigated to find the root cause of that depression.
we discovered a cocktail of old mental scripts Adam was still running that heâd picked up earlier in life.
the theme was âshouldsâ.
Adam was telling himself he:
đčshould be more disciplined
đčshould be more successful
đčshould be in the gym more often
đčshould be earning more money already
he was beating himself up and this was draining his energy.
so i asked Adam âif you had to program a robot to do your job, where in its process would you have it beat itself up?â
Adam burst into uncontrollable laughter (a sure sign of insight!)
from his new perspective the way heâd been bullying himself looked absurd.
Adam realized if he took the energy he was putting into âshouldingâ... and redirected it toward the actual tasks his âshouldingâ was designed to make him do⊠heâd âcut out the middle manâ and be far more likely to achieve his goals.
it took a bit of adjustmentâthere were some ups and downsâŠ
but inside 4 months Adam realized the greatest degree of alignment, fulfilment and contentment heâs ever experienced.
the company is currently at $10 million per year and on track to hit their target of 12.
go Adam.
mindfulness success story #8: becoming a âguiding lightâ
Jared began my âMINDFUL 24/7 courseâ very sceptical.
he had lots of prior meditation experience and wasnât sure if there was anything new for him here.
through the weeks we spent together we investigated this.
i assured Jared that scepticism was not only welcome but encouraged!
itâs vitally important that people test my teaching thoroughly in their own experience.
this is what Jared did.
and it turned out there was something new for him here.
something heâd perhaps glimpsed before but never seen so directly.
but it wasnât just himself who noticed greater calm, ease and effectiveness in his beingâŠ
other people noticed it too.
Jared took the new energy he was finding through the practices i recommended and invested it into a new business.
he served his first clients while the course was still rolling and shared with the group that one happy customer called him a âguiding lightâ in their testimonial.
his sincere investigation into my teaching changed not only his life, but others around him too.
natural mutual benefit tends to have that âripple effectâ.
mindfulness success story #9: from fear to âcosmic jackpotâ
Chema began my cohort course afraid that it would clash with his religious beliefsâand that he would end up having to become a monk!
nope.
Chema only became more of who he already is.
Chema is Christian and i assured him that nothing we would study or practice would clash with his beliefs.
how could i make this guarantee?
what i teach has nothing to do with beliefs.
Chema didnât have to drop, alter or replace any of his existing belief system.
what he did instead was recognize the fundamental basis of the experience of believing.
i knowâthatâs a bit of a head-fuck.
but Chema is thrilled with his new practice and keen to train with me so he can one day teach others to realize natural wellbeing⊠beginning with his mother, just like i did!
mindfulness success story #10: from confusion to clarity in 1 week
Dan, like Jared, entered the cohort with lots of experience in other practices. butâlike most students i meetâhe was lost regarding which of those practices to focus on.
adding another teaching to his plate seemed a gamble, but Dan liked what heâd read from me and decided to take the plunge.
we were both glad he did.
Dan found the âzoomed outâ perspective i offer to be greatly useful in reconciling all those other practices heâd tried.
weâre not trying to rate them.
weâre not trying to decide which one is best.
weâre looking at the common essence among them all and focusing solely on that.
which, in a word, is to simply relax.
the way i encourage this relaxation in context of the course was just right for Dan.
from there we deepened his realization and had him bring it into all areas of his life.
Dan now enjoys increasing harmony and effectiveness in his professional and personal life. but best of all he has no more questions.
Dan said that before the course he had a million questions to ask a mindfulness teacher. but by the end he knew exactly how iâd respond to every question he might ask!
so i successfully made myself redundantâthe goal of any good teacher!
âmindfulness hackingâ
a number of assignments inside âMINDFUL 24/7â involve a practice i call âmindfulness hackingâ.
this was a strong ingredient in the success stories above.
i want you to be successful too, so here it is.
the setup instructions below look a little daunting but just follow them one step at a time and youâll end up somewhere really good.
what weâre setting up is a unique bell sound on your phone, which will chime every 30 minutes, acting as a reminder to practice mindfulness.
so whether youâre absorbed in a tv show, in conversation, driving, eating or brushing your teeth, your bell will chime and remind you that every moment is a good moment for mindfulness.
when the bell chimes, chill out, let go and quiet down.
in other words, accept everything as it is, stop wishing things were different, and stop interpreting, judging, labelling and describing things.
just relax as the appearance of the moment as it is and enjoy the relief that comes from this profound acceptance.
here are the setup instructions:
- Install âInsight Timerâ from the App Store (iOS) or Play Store (Android)
- Open the app. Youâll be presented with 3 setup stepsâŠ
- For step 1, select âmindfulnessâ
- For step 2, select âThe Timerâ
- For step 3, select âskipâ
- Tap the âTimerâ icon in the top right corner of your screen
- Tap âDurationâ
- Tap the infinity symbol in the top right corner
- Confirm â0sâ under âWarm Upâ
- Tap âsaveâ
- Tap âinterval bellsâ
- Tap âadd bellâ
- Confirm setting âfrom startâ
- Set timer to 00h 00m 01s
- Tick ârepeatâ
- Set slider to âevery 30m 00sâ
- Under ânumber of repeating bellsâ select the infinity symbol
- Tap âsaveâ
- Tap âsaveâ again
- Tap âStarting bellâ
- Select âBASUâ
- Tap âsaveâ
- Ignore the red warning message at the top of the screen
- Tap ââŠâ in the bottom right of the app interface
- Tap âsave as a presetâ
- Type âMindfulness Hackingâ
- Tap âdoneâ
- Tap âMindfulness Hackingâ
- Tap âSTARTâ
you should hear the bell.
go aheadâenjoy a little practice right now!
and then enjoy some more in 30 minutes :)
iâm here to help
i have one more thing for you today: â85 free talks and guided meditations,â which you can enjoy anytime.
i hope you enjoyed the stories i shared in this letter.
i certainly enjoyed recalling them.
want to write a similar story about yourself?
MINDFUL 24/7 is now available as a self-guided course, with a single video call and text support with me thrown in for good measure.
more info at âmindful247.ccâ
win/win for the win,
dg đ