I spent my 20s living paycheck to paycheck.

Except I didn’t get paychecks. I was a self-employed musician, which meant I had no idea how much I’d earn each month.

Like many musicians, I supplemented my performance income with teaching. But that was irregular too. I tried to get more students by building websites based on guesswork and advertising them on Facebook and Google (also based on guesswork).

I was relying on long-standing cultural assumptions about how to get work and, as such, it was transactional: “I’ll give up this if you give up that.”

• I’ll drive 120 miles and perform for you if you give me ₤150
• I’ll rehearse with you for free if you book me for a paid gig
• I’ll give lessons to your kid who has no real interest in music if you at least tell me you’ll show up regularly

But I never wanted to teach people to play drums—I did so out of necessity. What I wanted to do was perform. But even when I was on stage I was compromising: most of my gigs were at someone’s wedding, where I’d play top 40 cover tunes that I’d never have listened to for my own musical satisfaction.

All of my work was on a win/lose basis. And I knew of no other way to live my professional life.

15 years of that took its toll. I slowly came to terms with the fact that I would never realize my teenage dream of getting on the front of Modern Drummer magazine. And when that dream died I was faced with a harsh truth: I was to be an unknown musician playing tunes I hated over and over again for the rest of my life.

Add to that chronic stress, back pain, unsociable hours and financial uncertainty and you get a miserable 30-year-old. A 30-year-old who tried to go his own way in life and failed. Once the light at the end of my tunnel went out, I started to consider whether it was actually okay to feel as bad as I felt.

In one of the most insightful books ever written, Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl recounts being forced to move a pile of stones from one end of a Nazi concentration camp to another. When he finished, he was told to move the stones back where they came from. Then back again. Over and over, he and his friends moved those stones back and forth with no muscle on their bones and no food in their stomachs. But, Frankl said, it wasn’t the physical hardship that was the real torture. Rather, it was the knowledge that the work had no purpose that caused everyone but himself to give up and die.

Of course, working as a musician is nowhere near as torturous as what Frankl went through. But Frankl himself told us that the observations on psychology he made throughout his ordeal are applicable in all contexts. Indeed, his major contribution to the field of psychology—logotherapy—is based on the claim that a person’s primary drive in any walk of life is the pursuit of meaning.

Previously, I’d felt that my efforts in music were leading somewhere. But approaching 30, I was convinced they were leading nowhere. I’d even had a taste of some higher profile work:

• I performed with Grammy-winner Roni Size
• I performed with Grammy-nominee Kelis
• I recorded with dubstep legend Culprate

But these gigs were rude awakenings. Believe it or not, they paid worse than the wedding gigs I was doing! And they came with a harsh realization: I’d practised my craft for tens of thousands of hours, only to become a “gun-for-hire”. I had no greater value to those artists than the thousands of other drummers who were lined up to play with them. (If I’d known anything about marketing, I’d have known that what I was lacking is called differentiation.)

All of this culminated in the “bottom falling out”—I had nothing left to stand on. My teenage dream had supported me through long nights on the road, hundreds of Sundays away from family and friends, and 15 years of financial uncertainty. Now it was gone.

But it gets even worse…

Without that dream, I didn’t even know who I was. My whole identity between the ages of 11 and 30 was “drummer”. I felt lost, ungrounded, and with no idea how to clean up the psychological and physical damage I’d done to myself in my misguided pursuit of ambition.

I’ve written in many other places about my journeys through self-improvement and spirituality, so I’ll cut to the important part for today’s message: slowly, but surely, I realized that music was never my true passion. There was something that pre-dated it by 7 years…

It turned out I was a “dharma dude” all along: a questioner, a philosopher. My earliest memories as a 4-year-old are of asking “why?” Of course, it’s not unusual for youngsters to be inquisitive, but I carried on. Existential questions were always with me, burning, and I was deeply frustrated by the lack of answers anyone in my life was able to give me to them.

When I began studying with my monk teacher in 2016, those deepest curiosities that I’d suppressed for 20 years were finally spoken to. And I realized that everything I’d done up to that point was a compromise—everything I’d done up to that point was win/lose.

But what does this have to do with making money?

Well, most people will tell you “nothing”. But they don’t know what I know.

The best way to earn money in 2025 is to lead with radical authenticity.

This means not compromising, ever.

See, Past Dan could never compete with Present Dan:

• Past Dan struggled to get out of bed
• Past Dan worked because he had to
• Past Dan relied on cheap pleasures to claw back some satisfaction from life

But Present Dan is running an entirely different program:

• Present Dan struggles to stay in bed
• Present Dan works because he wants to
• Present Dan enjoys life’s pleasures in support of his work

But Present Dan never would’ve gotten here without a deep, dedicated investigation of himself and reality—which is all authentic spirituality really is.

Spirituality earns you money because it brings you into alignment. Spirituality earns you money because it reveals the natural wish to serve others. Spirituality earns you money because it makes win/lose arrangements look absurd. And win/win arrangements are the ultimate business hack.

I’m not talking about what “old money” or corporations do. They’re irrelevant here. I’m talking about what ordinary people like you and me can do to take care of other people and generate wealth by charging fair fees for excellent services that people genuinely need. And the service is naturally excellent because we’re providing services we want to provide—we’re making the changes we want to see in the world.

I started out teaching the dharma for free. I then started charging because I saw I could help more people if I did. If the day ever comes where I’ve realized my 50-year vision of normalizing wellbeing for 1 billion & 1 people, I’ll go back to teaching for free. Because I love it.

When you align with what you love, no-one will be able to compete with you. People pay me $3,000 per month to teach them my unique fusion of spirituality and one-person business. It can’t be found anywhere else on the planet, and thus it has value. It took me 2 years to establish this business, but it’s the best thing I ever did (aside from marrying my wife).

So let’s talk about how you can establish yours…

How to Establish Your Spirit-Led Business

I wrote recently on the 9 steps you need to take to establish your “minimum viable service”.

In this post, I’m going to dig a little deeper on one of the most feared parts of that process: sales. And this is appropriate to today’s post because we still, collectively, tend to think of sales as something that’s inherently win/lose; something that’s about manipulating people to part with their cash.

But the essence of business is exchange of value. And it’s always been the case that the best businesses sell things people genuinely need and/or want. And when you’re selling something like that—and especially if you’ve demonstrated its value through frequent social media posts—the sales process becomes something entirely different to what most people think it is.

Over the past 3 months I’ve enjoyed a 90% conversion rate for my one-to-one coaching service. (In case you’re unaware, a conversion is what happens when a prospective buyer becomes a buyer.) Not long after my prospects pay me anywhere between 1 and 12.5 thousand dollars, I teach them the sales process I led them through. And the first thing I do is ask them, “how did you feel while we were having that conversation?”

Unanimously, they tell me they felt like they were just having a normal conversation, except with a bit more care than they’d typically receive from the other side. They tell me it felt collaborative, exploratory, and not at all like they were being sold anything. At which point, typically, we laugh. Because, of course, they were being sold something—just not in the way they are when someone calls them out of the blue running a telesales script.

I actually do have something of a script for my sales process. But it’s made up entirely of questions. My job during the sales conversation—whether in DM’s or on a call—is to find out if and how I can help someone. That’s it. And if more people sold this way we’d have a lot more successful businesses in the world.

I’m going to give you that script.

Note that the more established your personal brand is, the better this script works. Ideally:

• You have a profile that demonstrates value to your readers
• You run a proven content strategy
• You educate readers in your permission marketing funnel

The best case scenario is that someone who reads a lot of your content comments on one of your social posts or responds to one of your emails, demonstrating that they’re encountering the problem you’re here to solve.

Then you grab the URL of their comment, paste it in a DM to them, and run the script below.

If people aren’t yet showing up in your comments, you can go and find them instead. (The best place to look is in the comments under posts from larger creators in your niche.)

The Collaborative Sales Script

This “script” is to be held very loosely.

As I touched on above, I really use it more like a reference to make sure I’m asking the most important questions to the people I speak with. I can’t remember a single conversation in which I’ve asked all 10 questions, and certainly not exactly as they’re written below. Like any conversation, this one can go in infinite different directions. Don’t resist that. Lead with curiosity and empathy.

Imagine your sales conversations are happening at a party, but it just so happens you run a service that could really help the person you’re talking to.

Maintain the position of simply wanting to help them, whether that results in a sale or sharing free resources or making a referral to someone else who’s better positioned to solve the problem.

Let’s dive in…

Question 1: What’s the biggest challenge holding you back right now, and how do you feel about it?

The challenge or problem your prospect is dealing with is the most important part of this conversation. Chances are, if they don’t have a problem, they don’t need your help.

Some services are more about gaining benefits than solving problems, but those are relatively rare. Due to negative bias—which is very common—people typically feel more urgent about solving their problems than they do about improving things that are already okay (or getting more of something they already have).

If you’re a beginner, you may not be in a position to lead with question #1 as it’s phrased above. You may need to go in softer, being willing to see if the conversation leads to more of a peer connection than an offer of help. Lead with curiosity and empathy, and speak to enough people that you don’t need everyone to become a buyer.

Just like in dating, neediness is the #1 turn-off in sales.

Question 2: Have you tried to solve [problem] in the past? And what worked or didn’t work for you?

Whether you’re talking in DM’s or on a call, be sure to acknowledge what your prospect says. Please--save yourself the embarrassment of just reeling off the questions on this list one-by-one. Repeat what you heard back to your prospect to make sure you understand. Give sympathy. Ask follow-up questions to learn more.

Asking what worked or didn’t work about previous solutions your prospect tried helps you determine whether you can actually help them. If your solution is exactly like something they tried before and that didn’t work for them, just tell them you’re probably not a fit and why.

Question 3: What would solving this problem mean to you? How would it change your life? How would it feel to be free of it?

Asking about your prospect’s feelings is another important layer to this conversation. They’ll likely have ideas about their problem and the trajectory of their life, but their feelings are much more important.

In 2023, Mason et al. published a meta-analysis that found “emotional value is the most influential predictor of consumer behaviour”.¹

Now, many people start to feel icky about sales when feelings come into the conversation. They assume that if they’re asking people to feel their feelings then they must be somehow manipulating them.

This is not the case.

Manipulation is the deliberate act of attempting to change someone’s will to align with your own—often against their better judgment. Persuasion, on the other hand, is not inherently sinister. For example:

• You might argue to persuade your partner to go to the gym
• You might incentivize to persuade your child to do their chores
• You might campaign to persuade your government not to go to war

Hopefully you never have to participate in that final example, but it illustrates my point.

Here’s where this gets really interesting: if you’re in a position to help someone, is it not good to attempt to persuade them—ethically—to take that help? But this begs a further question: do you really believe you’re able to help?

For most people starting a one-person business, the answer is, sadly, “no”. Impostor syndrome is one of the most common obstacles they face. And yet most of the 1000+ beginners I’ve worked with are among the most honest, compassionate, caring people I’ve ever known. But compassionate, caring people tend not to be strongly motivated by personal gain. And, as such, they doubt themselves and procrastinate while other people with more selfish motivations are out there manipulating people out of their money (and giving them the bare minimum service in return).

If you’re reading this post, I suspect you have immense value to give to people. And asking them about their feelings—even if some of those feelings are unpleasant—is part of helping them make a decision that will benefit them.

People are well-practised at ignoring their feelings, and at neglecting to find solutions until things become unbearable. That’s not wise. If you’re in a position to help someone before they reach desperation, isn’t it a kindness to at least explore with them whether they might want to address those feelings with a viable solution?

Question 4: What do you think will happen if you don’t take action on this?

Here’s where those unpleasant feelings are most likely to surface. Listen calmly, acknowledge those feelings, then move on. Resist the urge to simply tell your prospect the solution at this point—now’s not the time.

Question 5: What would your ideal support system look like in all this?

Here, I’ll typically ask people if they’re good at motivating themselves or, rather, enjoy frequent accountability. I’ll also ask if they prefer text, voice, or video chat (or some combination of the above).

Question 6: Why do you feel like this is the moment to tackle [the challenge] and get [the outcome]?

This is one of my least asked questions on the list. Typically, by this point in the conversation, I have a feel for what the answer would be.

I’m more likely to ask this question if the prospect seems unsure of their commitment to solving the problem. (Note: that’s different to whether they seem sure of committing to my service. I’m not thinking about that yet.)

Question 7: What’s stopping you from making all this happen right now on your own?

I’ve found myself asking this question less and less. These days, by this point in the conversation, 9/10 of my prospects are very keen. I strongly suspect this is due to my content building trust over time, and only attracting potential clients who are strongly aligned with me.

Back along, though, this was a powerful question for encouraging prospects to consider whether they really needed my help. Note, I didn’t say “consider how much they needed my help”. If someone were to say to me, “actually Dan, this conversation has been really useful and I’m clear on how to tackle everything myself from here on,” that’s great—mission accomplished. We determined an ideal solution for them.

Now, I’d forgive you for feeling that you’d wasted your time if that were the outcome of an hour-long conversation. Hell, some of my sales conversations in the DM’s have been drawn out over weeks. But honestly, if you feel this would be a waste of time you’re thinking too small. This isn’t about one conversation. It’s about your mission! Your life’s work! Your great contribution to humanity! And I assure you, being ready to send people on their way with a little free advice will do a lot for your business long-term.

The Offer

At this point, you should have a good idea of where your prospect is at, where they’d rather be, and whether you can help them get there.

Pro tip: if you’re a complete beginner, you can offer to work with them for free. This will relieve a lot of pressure on you. You gain the chance to feel your way through the provision of your service, take plenty of feedback, and explore ways to get the result (rather than guarantee ways to get the result).

The classic “money-back guarantee” is also good training wheels.

Me, I typically make a different kind of guarantee: what I call an educational guarantee. I make no promises regarding specific financial or spiritual outcomes. There are too many variables in play to do that. What I guarantee, instead, is that by the end of our time working together my student will know exactly how to get the result they desire. And that if they don’t feel that way, I’ll work with them for free until they do.

No-one has ever taken me up on that guarantee. Every student has felt complete by the time our work has ended.

Whatever you charge and whatever kind of guarantee you make, it’s your job at this point to make a confident offer to your prospect. That is, to tell them what you propose to do for them. Do not leave it to them to tell you what they need. They don’t know—that’s why they’re talking to you.

For example, you might say, “okay, I have a good idea of where you’re at and where you want to be. All things considered, I think I can help you get over [the problem] and achieve [the desired outcome] in 3 months. We’ll do weekly video calls and text support in-between, and you’ll get [deliverable], [deliverable] and [deliverable] to help. How does that sound to you?”

If you’ve paid attention, made an offer that actually sounds like it can solve the problem, and the prospect is keen, your offer should sound great to them.

At this point, they may well ask you about price. And this is where a lot of beginners choke. If you choke, I want you to remember something: what was it like for you when you still had the problem you’re offering to solve for people? What would you have paid to get help from someone who’d already solved that same problem in their own life?

I’ve invested at least $100,000 into solving my problems. And I’m a discerning buyer.

Like I said, if you need to build confidence, working with a few people for free is a great way to do so. But once you’ve done that, please, charge what you’re worth—because it will help you to help even more people, and that’s how we’re going to build our utopia.

If you don’t know what your service is worth, ChatGPT is your friend. Just tell it what you’re doing for people and ask what other people are charging for that service.

If You Need Help With All This

I’ve got your back.

One of the things I offer students is feedback on their actual sales conversations, so we can get into the details of what was said, identify what worked, and identify how they might have served their prospects more fully.

There’s a lot to learn, but if you’ve read this far I know you’re the kind of person whose service the world needs. Don’t keep it from them.

Click here if you’d like me to ask you the questions on my script and see if I can help you.

With love from my desk,
dg💙